How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others (2023)

FAQs

Why do I constantly compare myself to others? ›

This tendency to compare ourselves to other people is called social comparison, and it is a natural way for us to evaluate how we're doing. When we compare ourselves to others who are better off than we are, it is called an upward social comparison, and it tends to make us feel dissatisfied.

When the apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he explained an important principle along this line: “…But they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Corinthians 10:12).

Comparing ourselves to others is toxic for so many reasons, but the one that's most damaging is what it does to our self-worth. We feel "less than" when we compare, we feel like we are not good enough and that somehow we need to do better. This is a terrible place to be in. One that leads to depression and anxiety.

Where in the Bible does it say not to compare yourself to others? ›

Don't compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.

You might say we have a case of “Obsessive Comparison Disorder,” or a compulsion to constantly compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, it can have damaging effects on physical and psychological well-being, with social media use being linked to depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Always be kind and patient with each other. Love one another, so that you do not quickly become angry with each other.

By comparing ourselves to others we're negating our own road and demanding that the past be different than what it was. The demands we place on ourselves to be like those we're comparing ourselves may sometimes be motivations for change, however they are more likely to lead to feelings of diminished self-worth.

Focus on your strengths.

The more we compare ourselves to others, the worse we feel about ourselves. That's a dangerous trap we've got to avoid. Try writing down three things you really like about yourself—things you can identify as strengths. Don't just write “good people skills” like you'd put on a boring resume.

Comparison causes you to look away from the good things in your life and focus on what you don't have instead. If it is not addressed, comparison can lead to poor mental health and issues like anxiety and depression. The good news is that you can train yourself to stop this habit and focus on gratitude instead.

Allow yourself to sit with your emotions without judgment. Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling and remind yourself that your emotions are valid. Lean on others but don't feel the need to minimize your struggles or compare your problems to theirs. Avoid judging other people's emotions.

Comparison is the result of insecurity.

You're measuring your worth based on how much you weigh compared to someone else. You're judging yourself on something meaningless and deeming yourself less than. That's not fair or accurate.” This allows me to be fully aware of what I'm doing and why I'm doing it.

Downward social comparison

In downward social comparisons, we compare ourselves to other people who are worse off. This is a common experience, and we've all had the experience of reassuring ourselves of our behavior by comparing ourselves with someone else.

Can comparing yourself to others cause anxiety? ›

Habitual negative social comparisons can cause a person to experience greater stress, anxiety, depression, and make self-defeating choices.

Research studies have shown that Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective treatments for low self-esteem.

Causes of low self-esteem

Unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as teachers) were extremely critical. Poor academic performance in school resulting in a lack of confidence. Ongoing stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or financial trouble.

One of the hardest reasons it's so hard to learn how to be yourself around others is because who we are is molded in our earliest life experiences. If you grew up in a family where you weren't allowed to express your feelings or needs as a child, you may find it even more difficult to express yourself as an adult.

Why do I get jealous so easily? ›

Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.

Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.

Proverbs 18:1 – A man who isolates himself seeks his own desires; he rages against all wise judgment. Some people live alone because friends and families have abandoned them.

“Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you. I will be a father to you, and you shall be my sons and daughters” (2 Corinthians 6:17, 18). When it comes to becoming familiar with sin, God would have us keep our distance.

The Bible commands us to “consider others better than” ourselves. It also says we should not only look at our own interests and lives but also the interests and lives of others.

In 1908, Sigmund Freud named what is now known as obsessive–compulsive or anankastic personality disorder "anal retentive character". He identified the main strands of the personality type as a preoccupation with orderliness, parsimony (frugality), and obstinacy (rigidity and stubbornness).

In psychology, the human drive to compare ourselves to others is called “social comparison theory“. This theory was first coined in 1954 by social psychologist Leon Festinger.

Compulsions are repetitive behaviors that a person with OCD feels the urge to do in response to an obsessive thought. Common compulsions include: Excessive cleaning and/or handwashing. Ordering and arranging things in a particular, precise way.

Jesus said, "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27-28 NIV) In the following verses Jesus gives several specific examples of how to treat those who have hurt you, and He concludes with, "Be merciful, just as ...

Do I know the plans I have for you? ›

“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. '” — Jeremiah 29:11. Jeremiah 29:11 is one of the most often-quoted verses in the Bible.

2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The first six verses of David's song magnifies God's omniscience – his vast knowledge, his all-knowing mind – AND pervades the entire song. To think that God knows everything about me causes me to marvel like it did David (6).

You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Have you ever stopped to ask, “What does God think about me? Who does he say that I am?” You are more valuable than many sparrows (Matthew 10:31).

Bible Gateway Matthew 7 :: NIV. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

“Humans are 'social animals' and our ancestors have always lived and survived in groups”, explains Pia. “Comparing yourself to others serves as an orientation to see where we stand in a group and whether we need to take some action to improve our performance or position”.

Comparisons are a normal part of human cognition and can be good for the self-improvement process. When we compare ourselves to others, we get information about what we want and where we want to be, and we get valuable feedback on how we measure up. However, they can also cause us a lot of psychological pain.

You might say we have a case of “Obsessive Comparison Disorder,” or a compulsion to constantly compare ourselves to others. Unfortunately, it can have damaging effects on physical and psychological well-being, with social media use being linked to depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

Obsessive Comparison Disorder is a phrase I've coined to describe our compulsion to constantly compare ourselves with others, producing unwanted thoughts and feelings that drive us to depression, consumption, anxiety, and all-around joyous discontent.

How do you recover from comparison? ›

Studies have shown that social comparison is related to depression and further indicated that depressive individuals compare themselves with others more frequently and use more upward comparisons [1].

Social comparison theory is the idea that individuals determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. The theory was developed in 1954 by psychologist Leon Festinger.

So, Why do we Compare? Comparison is linked to insecurity and fear. It's the idea that some people are better than you and some people are worse than you. After all, the only way to compare is to lift some and diminish others.

If you have low self-esteem you may have difficulty with relationships and problems at work or school. You may become very upset by criticism or disapproval and withdraw from activities and people. You may avoid doing anything where you may be judged or measured against other people.